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Writer's picture Cara Donvirse

Beware of the Junk Drawer Bandit

((This is an active storyline. Contact Wilbur Fitzgerald in-world))


Don't need ta hide yo wife or yo kids! Ya need ta hide ya f---- spoons! We got no spoon for cereal! Leroy Jennings, victim

The quote makes it clear, Onyx Heights has an unusual serial burglar on the loose that's puzzling victims and police alike! While non-violent insofar, victims have found their homes ransacked in search what seems to be the target loot: the infamous drunk drawer and loot.


While some have reported other items taken that were out in the open like smart home speakers, phones and tablets; every house has reported all spoons missing and their junk drawers wiped clean.


Every freaking spoon, man. The collective spoons even. The baby spoons! Hell, even the spoons that were in the sink and dishwasher.

Some residents are worried about this more than others since aside from the Junk Drawer Bandit getting away with a lot of pens, lighters and dollar store tape, a few kept emergency credit/debit cards, and checkbooks.


One of the neighbors security cameras caught sight of this bandit, but the quality of footage makes it impossible to tell who he is. The police have no comment on this active investigation.



So beware! Keep your valuables (and spoons?) well hidden and lock up tight as you leave your homes to celebrate Memorial weekend events.


((This is an active storyline. Contact Wilbur Fitzgerald in-world))



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