Monday September 14th, 2023
A weekend we would have figured that many would have taken off (even you criminals, we're looking at you) turned into a nightmare for the residents off the apartments on Main Street, after a sudden explosion took them by surprise Saturday afternoon. The explosion happened behind the Onyx Heights Bank after reports of armed robbers had trailed an Armored 'Dumass' truck throughout the city. The identies of the men are currently unknown.
When getting information from those involved, we were informed by the Onyx Heights Police Department that there were two innocent bystanders murdered in the heist gone wrong. Two women, by the names of Brendy Gonzalez and Lucy LeCorpse, were announced dead at the scene. Gonzalez leaves behind a small son who was eager to reach out to us to offer a statement on the loss of his mother. Unfortunately, we could not understand him as he only spoke in Chinese. LeCorpse, leaves behind a husband who stated quote "Can I get a paper copy of that, for insurance purposes?" Wow. He sounds like a real charmer.
But make no mistake, those were both losses to the community that Onyx Heights cannot afford. After the recent Plane Crash that left former staple of the community, Tito Ortiz, dead. The Onyx Heights Police Department did rush with urgency to get to the scene and get things under control.
The Onyx Heights Police Department is often under public backlash, for their handlings of situations and this ordeal would be no different. Eve Rainier, a bystander who witnessed the events, commented to us exclusively stating "I feel the criminal element in this city is getting out of control. The SWAT unit on scene were disorganized and caused extensive property damage (to the bank), while the bank manager had to get involved, and a staff member lost her life. When is the Mayor going to put a Chief in charge who we can have faith in?"
We stand with you, Eve! It's been ONE MONTH (Exactly to the day) since Axel Kane was appointed the Chief of Police by the Mayor and it seems there has been more petty crimes than ever before. And sadly, after these events, it only seems like things are getting worse for Onyx Heights. Just in time for spooky season, did you readers see that mans clown mask? Talk about creepy!
Nonetheless, the property damages that Ms. Rainer is speaking of can be seen briefly below. In which it seemed the SWAT's best course of action was to go through the concrete pylons in front of the bank and through the front entrance. (Pictured Below)
We were able to get in touch with the newly appointed Bank Executive, Malachi Vilas, on his experience. And unlike Ms. Rainier, it seems he was much more appreciative of the OHPD's response. He stated "Thank you to the brave and competent Onyx Heights Police Force". Odd, if we do say so ourselves. Especially after seeing the picture above. Did they deploy tear gas, or natural gas, to weed out the Criminals? You let us know, readers!
We reached out to numerous OHPD officers who were on the scene and none were able to give us a comment, especially the infamous Barley Donnachaidh who only responded in Scottish mumbled gibberish we could not understand. But we did get a conformation that the new assailants that were involved with the Robbery were announced dead at the scene. Still, their indenites are unknown. But we have reason to suspect this might be gang related. Be safe readers, as always!
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